>i had the hardest time coming up with something to write about on my blog today. i felt like if there was nothing interesting that happened, i shouldn’t bore anyone by posting it up. but i think there’s something bigger than worrying about keeping my posts interesting that’s going on. history is being recorded with every new entry. my history. this idea could be attributed to the fact that i’m currently studying for my history quiz on monday (on 3rd day of class already? seriously mr. sen?), but i see something in it. and as much as i want this blog to benefit others, this is also something for myself.
i never had a thing for memories as a kid. i never cared for pictures, photo albums or memories in general. i’d tell myself, “who cares about the past? it’s the now and future that counts.” or “i don’t like to get tied down by the past.” but there’s something about that nostalgic feeling when i read my past entries on xanga that makes me think about the goodness of life. it amazes me to think about how fast we change, how important certain things become (or how less important certain things become), and how different we were.
and it’s not because of something i wrote on a certain day. rather, it was the collective set of days that reminded me of how i used to think and feel that i missed. for the times i longed for my younger innocence, stupidity, or outrageous and passionate goals. for the times i felt invincible – that nothing-in-this-world-could-stop-me feeling. i think that’s what memories mean to me. when the now seems cold and harsh, they remind me of the goodness of life. maybe even how life is supposed to be lived: innocent, honest, crazy, vigorous.
it’s for those summers that felt so much longer, those days we got to lay around on the grass soaking in the sun thinking about absolutely nothing, and remembering nothing but good times. that’s what today will be, when i read it 10 years from now. that’s what every day that i’ll blog about will be. it’ll be nothing but good times. why? not because i read on a certain day i spent 5 hours studying for a dumb history quiz on the 2nd day of class, or me complaining about having nothing to write about. it’ll be because i am reminded of how life used to be: simpler. because life gets complicated the older we get. we all need some memories to help remind us to remove some clutter.
and it is with this mindset that i will continue to blog.